Well, what I was saying is that you have the mystery no matter what. The guy who says what you want to hear could easily be lying. You can't avoid the mystery. they could be lying, but i havent caught one yet. thats why i ask; so i know and then can verify the info in one way or another. same goes to where they live and so on. if im gonna meet up with a stranger, im going to do the research for safetys sake.

so ihave 5 for 5 avoided deceit, as far as the basics go just making sure their story checks out. like someone else said, failing to tell them some info would make you appear deceitful when youre not. I think when you withhold something in your basic profile info, it makes people suspicious.

That goes for pictures, weight, height, etc. I have seen that many people men and women leave the income field blank, and that is understandable - at least to me. Otherwise, it's perfectly okay if you're unemployed and didn't graduate high school or whatever. There's someone out there for everybody. Yes, some people are more selective. If they value education, they may sort people for only having a bachelors and above.

If they value career, they may scrutinize your industry and weed you out. You really should include your basic info like career and education. I don't see this as a bad thing. Why would you want to waste your time getting to know someone if they are REALLY looking for someone else? We all have our own ideals, and it's only fair and ultimately in your best interest to allow people on the other side of the computer screen to pursue who they want.

Also it depends on the age of women you are interested in. A younger woman is likely to be less bothered by professional success or solid direction. I disagree with this. Beauty is right there in the woman.. it is a part of her. It is not something external.

Whereas a man's bank account is an external entity and something that can change dramatically. Let's just say if the value of my stocks suddenly goes up and I encash it. Now I will have lot of money in my bank account. Does that mean the girl that just rejected me will now find me attractive? all of a sudden.. in a span of a week???

so I can imagine that a gal might be put off when it's something you're not direct about. I think men make the mistake of thinking that when a girl asks what you do, she's trying to figure out how much money you make. I don't particularly need anyone else's money and I have a well-paying job that I love. Obviously if you're a computer guy, that's a conversation starter. If you're a teacher, it's conversation starter. I went out with a guy who ran a dump and I was surprised to learn that all of the trash from our state gets sent out on barges to off-the-coast of another state!

What better way to start to get to know someone than to talk about what they spend all day most days doing?? When I was dating I didn't really care what the guy DID, but rather how much they enjoyed it. If you're doing something 8 hours a day that you hate I'm wondering why you're so putt off by this question unless you're not comfortable with what you do or how much you make??

Guys would ask a lot about what kind of physical activities I do and I thought it was a fair enough question even though I imagine they were really trying to figure out how fit I am. The worst that can happen is that they determine I'm not a good match and don't waste our time! I'm passionate about what I do, so I'm always interested to hear if other people feel the same. I love meeting a guy who gets excited talking about his job, and it's always a great way to start a conversation - to see how our jobs might overlap, or how he got to where he is, etc.

I agree with other posters that not answering these kinds of questions can make it look like you have something to hide. I definitely appreciate your approach, but I'm not sure how comfortable I would be with it if we were just starting to talk.

I mean, the point is that we're NOT buddies. We don't know each other, so we should take care of the getting to know you stuff first. I didn't say people aren't trying to figure things out I just wasn't offended by it. If they don't think I'm active enough or they think I'm too active or don't wear enough make up, then they'll move on and we'll both find someone more suitable.

When I asked guys about their jobs I wasn't trying to figure out how much they made I don't need to know and don't need their money. Actually if you told me you were an engineer, I would have no clue how much you made I only know about my own field.

Anyways, the OP is assuming girls who ask what he does are interested in his cash value and I don't think that's always the case. He doesn't want to share that info and that's his perogative I'm just offering another point of view from a girl who has experience online dating. Not all the girls online are shallow or in search of your bank statement. Some of us can even take care of ourselves!!

Maybe he's secretly the crown prince of Zamunda and wants potential girlfriends to get to know his personality first and so he can know that they're attracted to him and not just his status. Or maybe he's an engineer, in which case he might be better off telling them he's a school crossing guard or plays piano in a brothel instead. But seriously, OP, leaving this information out of your profile is like a woman leaving her photo out.

You might think it sucks being judged by superficial things, but that's online dating for you. You want to be judged at first for who you are?

Find another way to meet women. But I will tell you that I've worked my tail off to get an education and get a job that will actually support me so that no one else has to. And I think I deserve someone that I'm not going to have to support. Yeah, I know that there are tough times, and we all go through periods of financially supporting our partners. But I can't count how many single men in their 40s who have done absolutely NOTHING to better themselves for decades and are perfectly happy with living in poverty and on the edge of having to rely on the state should something go wrong.

And they wonder why they are single, and they are the ones that claim that women are materialistic and only care about money. That is why most people want to see what you do for a living and your education level right off the bat. By Cool Character , April 14, By Marihoney , March 11, By Rb , November 27, By Carter33 , November 29, By Jakeissorry Started Monday at PM.

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All Activity Home Online Dating -- Catch 22 Online Dating -- Catch 22 online relationship personality. Start new topic. Prev 1 2 3 Next Page 1 of 3. Recommended Posts. OntheWire Posted July 19, Posted July 19, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options Replies 58 Created 12 yr Last Reply 12 yr. lana Posted July 19, lord no! i messaged a guy based on his personality that was reflected in his profile. i get ya. thats a cool way to go about things.

cause i dont need the mystery! LoveSoDeep Posted July 19, oldenoughtoknow Posted July 19, quirky Posted July 19, My friend Page gives sage advice. This leads me to the popular psycho analysis gig.

Psychologists would to love to run the meter while they advise me to outline the characteristics of Mr. Right on paper. This allegedly prevents me from falling for the wrong guy synonymously, co-dependence, but what it really does is keep me from falling in love. and l. of your spec list. But who? Frankly, the age old spec list is exactly why love requires commitment. I need a man. So do I. The question is, can I live with them?

Can he live with mine? Do we have what it takes to make a go of it? Will love prevail, and when it wanes, will commitment take over? Kaye, who is in a committed relationship, brought me an article about being single.

I appreciate her attempts to restore my hope, but the recommendation that I can enjoy being single precludes one small detail -- sex. Enjoying singledom means I enjoy sex without a committed relationship. It loses that element of intimacy that makes it important to begin with. It is my impression that women or men who tout the singles life either hate sex, enjoy sex with meaningless and probably multiple partners, or they are in one of those relationships that infinitely linger without any substance.

At least I have a chance of winning. Right yet. Thanks friends. In fact, I have met Mr. Wonderful now and he recently proposed. It was a long time coming after 13 years of divorced life. And get this: he came along when I least expected it :.

Ditto that, and agree with Larissa. I am happy. But nothing compares to "sharing your life" with someone who "gets you. I miss that.

Carroll is a freelance writer who enjoys writing poetry, flash fiction and non-fiction on a myriad of topics. Yes, there are people who enjoy being single!

I, for one, prefer being in a committed relationship. I don't hate it because I'm lonely. I just happen to enjoy companionship. I enjoy listening to someone tell me about their day. I like having someone to cuddle with when I watch a sad movie -- someone to roast chestnuts with. My friends are quick to give me trite consolation. My friend Page gives sage advice. This leads me to the popular psycho analysis gig.

Psychologists would to love to run the meter while they advise me to outline the characteristics of Mr. Right on paper.

This allegedly prevents me from falling for the wrong guy synonymously, co-dependence, but what it really does is keep me from falling in love. and l. of your spec list. But who? Frankly, the age old spec list is exactly why love requires commitment. I need a man. So do I. The question is, can I live with them? Can he live with mine? Do we have what it takes to make a go of it? Will love prevail, and when it wanes, will commitment take over? Kaye, who is in a committed relationship, brought me an article about being single.

I appreciate her attempts to restore my hope, but the recommendation that I can enjoy being single precludes one small detail -- sex. Enjoying singledom means I enjoy sex without a committed relationship. It loses that element of intimacy that makes it important to begin with.

It is my impression that women or men who tout the singles life either hate sex, enjoy sex with meaningless and probably multiple partners, or they are in one of those relationships that infinitely linger without any substance. At least I have a chance of winning. Right yet. Thanks friends. In fact, I have met Mr. Wonderful now and he recently proposed. It was a long time coming after 13 years of divorced life. And get this: he came along when I least expected it :.

Ditto that, and agree with Larissa. I am happy. But nothing compares to "sharing your life" with someone who "gets you. I miss that. I enjoyed this column. Keep your chin up! You're not alone. A lot of people feel the same way you do. I think you will know the person when they come--and they'll know it, too. Personal Finance. Arts Business Entertainment Politics Sports Tech Login. Hurricane Cuts on Palms -- Don't Do It.

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I mean, the point is that we're NOT buddies. Guys would ask a lot about what kind of physical activities I do and I thought it was a fair enough question even though I imagine they were really trying to figure out how fit I am. I only know about my own field. You're not alone. There's someone out there for everybody. And I think I deserve someone that I'm not going to have to support.

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